ISSUE 95

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 Promising artist three-year-old Timmy Taylor will present his first collection of four art pieces at the New York Modern Art Museum this Tuesday. This comes as a surprise to some, who thought he had retired from art, instead pursuing an interest in sticks and spitting on ant colonies.
 “It will be interesting to see how he pushes the frontiers of realism in this work,” art critic Erik Johansson remarked in anticipation of the new exhibit. “Often Taylor embeds himself in our fractured national consciousness. Take, for example, Drawing #459, the wandering crayon told of a troubled childhood and the ‘time-out chair,’ while the use of two whole containers of glitter surely hints to the excess of Western society. And the addition of uncooked macaroni noodles—a brilliant reference to our political system.”
 Certainly, the output of Taylor’s genius is unmatched, as this happens to be his fifth national art exhibit in the past week. Provided with a full supply of crayons and markers—but not watercolor paints because last time he spilled them everywhere—he has been known to produce ten pieces in less than fifteen minutes.
 While this may devalue the work of some artists—as it suggests a submission to the capitalist pressure to produce—the demand for Taylor’s work has remained high. Remarkably, most of this demand stems from his close relatives, who eagerly consume whatever work he produces. They call it “really something” and “touching.” Indeed, Taylor seems unmotivated by any monetary influence, creating for the joy of creating and the promise of a peanut butter sandwich.
 This comes as a relief as outside influences strain to cast their shadow over the creative world and twist its message to a “company-friendly stance.” Of course, many question the authenticity of an artist who still lives at home and has never worked a “normal job.”
 “Some members of the public find his work inaccessible,” art curator Sharon Liscomb said. “He’s never encountered the ‘real world,’ though how many artists have is still up for question. Really, one could say he’s in infancy. And, honestly, what can we learn from someone who refuses to recognize when he needs to use the restroom?” 
 Without monetary influences, some wonder what inspires Taylor, especially with America’s detachment from nature and the mechanization of daily life. In this, Taylor has become a model for how life could be better, not a post-industrial utopia per say but something to transform the chaos incrementally. Kicking piles of melting snow, acting like a monkey, uncompromised refusal to try the pea soup Grandma made, expressing thoughts without complexity or a filter—these are things Taylor acolytes strive for.      
 When asked where he receives his inspiration, however, Taylor simply mentioned trains, especially the Chicago blue line, the Metra, and Thomas the Train. While it is unclear why his particular interests lie here, the Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) has applauded his efforts to raise awareness of public transportation.
 “This kid—it doesn’t even matter if he’s ten blocks away from a train.” CTA chief of operations Jeremy Driscoll remarked with admiration. “He’ll stop and ask if anyone knows what train it is and where it’s going. Kid has a future is all I’m saying.”
 Among Taylor’s other interests are ramming Hot Wheels cars into each other, puddles, stepping in dog poop, and his grandparent’s cat. The last has been a relationship filled with strife, as Taylor’s efforts to ingratiate himself have been largely ignored or met with hostility. Much of his art reflects this animosity between man and beast, notably Whiskers Bit Me, Whiskers Bit Me Again, and I Pulled Whiskers’ Tail And Feel No Remorse
 This animal theme may arise again in the upcoming exhibition, as it has been reported Taylor recently pet the neighbor’s dog.
 “I love that doggy,” he said fondly. “He is brown and furry.”
 Poetry from the artist himself. Truly, it will be a joy to see what he has created. Tickets start at $389 and are available for pre-order online. 
   
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